let's talk hair

all the sudden i've been itching for a haircut. the intense, insane kind. this is me trying to get all my thoughts out and organized so i don't make any rash decisions. this is a very girly and pointless post, but if you can then bear with me. the future of my hair is at stake.

since i let some demon spawn hairdresser cut most of my hair off into an awkward long/short bob in november i've been growing it out, cutting it myself off and on, and trying to reach some sort of glorious long hair heaven that i imagine exists somewhere. but the longer it gets they more unhappy i am with it. i love when i trim it myself but i give myself a lot of short layers and they've been bothering me lately. the last few weeks i've been imagining how great it would be if all my layers grew out to about the same length and turned all wavy. but then i remembered: before november, i HAD that. it was down past my shoulder blades, almost all the same length except for my bangs, wavy as could be. and i haaaaaated it. it felt all flat and lifeless against my head, which is something i always try to avoid, and it just hung low and heavy and felt plain and bulky. so now i'm wondering, should i really spend all this time growing it out just to find it's not for me? or should i give short hair one more chance, love it, or realize i'll never love it, and grow it out for the rest of my life in peace?

let's break it down.

here are the lovely ladies who have been tempting me with short hair lately. emma watson is the true culprit, she is STUNNING, but i think anne hathaway's pixie cut in her new movie is really trying to push me over the edge lately.

emma

anne 

carey [so adorable]

natalie 

keira

pixie hair pros:

1. convenience. long hair takes forever to style and manage, and that's time i never ever like spend on my hair. it's not so bad when i ignore it when it's short but it gets more noticeable as i grow it out that i hate spending time on it. maybe with a cute pixie cut i might actually look a little cute after hours of baby labor so my baby can see a pretty momma and not a scary, crazy haired one. haha!

2.  more styling possibilities. with long hair i could wear it down straightened or curly, or pull it up with a thousand bobby pins. but i hate pulling up my hair so that's not a real option, so the options seem slim. with short hair i would feel more comfortable with bows and headbands [i never wear headbands when my hair is long, i think it looks awkward on me]. i could flatten it or tease it up, wear a fohawk or pigtails, or a possibly even a bandanna or one or those cool forehead bands that all the cool kids do these days. it could happen?

3. i'd be less hot in the summer. my hair is so warm lately.

4. easier to dye.

5. i might look super cute like anne hathaway. the possibility is almost there. 

6. i wouldn't have to pull my hair up at work, which is on the verge of being a must, i see the supervisors eying my length lately and i just know they'll make me pull it back soon. and i HATE that. i feel so ugly with my hair up, 9 bobby pins later, layers STILL falling out. blah.

pixie hair cons: 

1. i might look super ridiculous with short hair. with the exception of maybe carey mulligan [who i adore] all these girls have super thin, angular faces and small noses. even carey's cute, round nose is tiny compared to mine. my face it very round, broad and NOT angular. i'm afraid i'll end up looking very round and chubby. or that i may end up looking like a lesbian. which actually wouldn't be so bad, just as long as i was a cute lesbian and not so very butch, which is really what i'm afraid of.

2. i won't be able to hide my face as easily anymore. look at that natalie portman. i NEVER let people see my forehead. my long hair is as good at hiding acne as cover-up is. i'm not sure if i'm confident enough to give that security up.

3. i would be cutting it myself, so it might turn out awful. awful. but i would never let any stranger try to give my a pixie cut. 

4. if i hate it, it's a loooong way to go to grow it out again.

5. my hair is very, very thick. i was told by our family hairdresser [who cut four generations of the women in our family's hair] that if i ever went short it would just poof and mushroom out. she might be right. i might have a fro. 

now let's talk about my long hair dreams. i imagine my hair being super long lion hair someday, almost to my waist. a half curly half wavy, knotted, semi braided, mess of a mane. it may look like a train wreck. but it may look like a bohemian dream. i also would like to be able to curl the ends, make it straight, make it wavy, put it up creatively [not the mess of bobby pins and wimpy pony tails i have now], and maybe look more like zooey deschanel. okay, let's be honest, i mostly just want to look like zooey deschanel. she has the BEST hair. 

zooey 

zooey again 

more zooey

 *sigh* zooey 

long hair pros: 

1. i could look more like zooey deschanel. this possibility is priceless. 

2. i wouldn't have to change anything for a while. my hair hopefully wouldn't get any worse than it is now. 

3. long hair may be more "me." i'm not sure how to explain this one. but maybe it would fit my look and lifestyle better? i always pictured raising children with long hair even though it's so high maintenance. maybe because my momma has beautiful long hair. 

4. craig may secretly love long hair more. he just doesn't know it yet. 

long hair cons:   

1. the upkeep is ridiculous. my lack of effort is looking bad already, and my hair is barely shoulder length. 

2. i'm super impatient. and bored with my hair. i don't think i can wait it out for long enough. and i'd rather snap now and know for sure than wait a little longer and THEN snap. i want to waste as less growing time as possible!

3. with my body turning pregnant i feel very round and frumpy and unattractive lately. my mass of messy hair may have something to do with it, and maybe a short haircut would help me feel less bulky and better about myself.  

4. if i go with long hair now i may never know what it's like to have a pixie cut. i'd always wonder what could have been!

i guess i'm really on the verge of whacking all my hair off. i'm definitely leaning toward the pixie cut because if it worked out, it would be so so great. but i'm really afraid of regretting it and wishing my hair was long again, just like in november. that haircut was literally the worse day of my life. dramatic, but possibly true. so it's still up in the air still. maybe it'll consume me so much i'll start sleep walking and wake up with a brand new haircut. you just never know.

the fourth of july

craig and i are excellent multitaskers. this holiday weekend we managed to tackle several items on our summer bucket list with ease! and we weren't even trying.

1. we swam in a pool. i thought this was going to take A LOT more effort than it did, we figured we'd be trying to force ourselves to do this all summer and then manage it at the last minute and only with cheating [dipping toes would have counted.] but no! we found the key to our apartment pool [hard part], went down there in the last hour and a half it was open, and got the whole thing to ourselves. craig and his little brothers went crazy in the pool while i compromised in the hot tub. squirt did not get baked. don't worry.

2. go to a barbecue? go to a barbecue! momma and dad put on the best fourth of july barbecue. i had a bratwurst and a hamburger, and that's only as far as meats go. best corn on the cob i've had in years. craig agreed, and he doesn't even like corn. we went to another family barbecue too, briefly. it was craig's aunt and uncles barbecue but after a couple minutes of realizing we knew no one there and we were WAY too full to be at another barbecue, we made our stealthy escape.

3. we didn't go to washington to buy illegal fireworks, but we did manage to procure some. i'll never tell. my lips are sealed. know this, i love, love, LOVE roman candles.

4. due to craig's quick thinking and brilliance we were able to hit up our longboards. they are so much fun in the summer. i have a hard time turning left without leaning back far enough to fall off, but at one point i was so pro and craig was so proud. we may or may not have lit off some smoke bomb fireworks WHILE longboarding, cause we're that extreme. oh and we weren't wearing any helmets, none of us, craig, me, and squirt were all helmet-less. don't tell my mother.

4 out of 16 already? cha-ching! this summer is moving right along. but wait! let's not forget the other awesome things we did this weekend!

1. craig and i got to teach primary again this week, standing in for one of our favorite couple friends. i always feel like we won some sort of prize when we get to do this. every time.

2. craig's little brothers asked if they could spend the night, and we said yes! phew, that was a close one. it was tons of fun. we spent a long time in the pool, then we watched the IT crowd on netflix, then i went to bed at like one in the morning like an old lady [or an exhausted prego lady] while the guys stayed up and played video games till late. what else?

3. we had a fourth meal, late night taco bell feast. it was divine. cameron and chris both got a bunch of beefy melty burritos, craig got a baja chalupa meal, and i got a crispy potato soft taco and a 5 layer burrito. and sauces of all kinds. loved it.

4. craig and i took a nap after our barbecue family feast [we did not barbecue the family, we feasted with the family]. a long, summer afternoon, full belly, ridiculous old person nap. we also learned that while i would do just fine if we owned a twin bed, craig would never be comfortable.

5. i ate two slices of magical tasting, festively colored cake made by catie. it tasted like drugs. the good kind. i had two pieces. two. and i started out full. i told catie not to tell craig i had another piece, but i didn't finish it in time, he noticed. and he laughed at me. the second piece was for squirt. that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

6. we visited craig's grandma and grandpa for a while. she asked me how i got pregnant and i told her when you hold hands with your fingers criss-crossed you get pregnant. she was amused. and grandpa gary asked me if i had registered to vote yet. i should probably get on that.

7. we went to see john and sheri for a while too, which was bomb. john let me have two waters AND use their bathroom. every pregnant girls dream! they even let us park at their house so we could walk to the park to see fireworks without worrying about parking and traffic. aren't they gems?

8. we got to sit with our dear miguel and brittney [who i never see enough] and watched fireworks. they were so pretty and precious, and the fireworks weren't bad either ;] they lasted a long time! i loved it. i love that we got to see fireworks after all when i wasn't sure if we would. and i loved being with craig, and thinking about how NEXT year we'll have a little baby to be with on the fourth of july. can't wait. can. not. wait.

9. guys, i bought and consumed items from an ice cream truck for the very. first. time. i love being married to craig, he lets me be a kid whenever i want to! i didn't actually have ice cream, since i refuse to let squirt be made out of any ice cream, so i had a bubblegum flavored juicy pop thing. craig had a teenaged mutant ninja turtle head with gumballs for eyes. it was sick. in the good way.

10. there were more fireworks of the self-activated kind at miguel's house late into the night. brittney kept giving me the prettiest sparklers to hold. i've never done sparklers before this year! my favorite kind was all metal and looked like fairy dust. there may have been roman candles. i'll never tell. but there were late night grilled hot dogs. yes. sir. ee.

starbucks

sometimes i have a bad day. so craig takes me to starbucks and i eat my first cake pop. and suddenly, everything is better, and life is just a piece of cake pop.

one strawberries and creme grande frap, one vanilla bean grande frap, one pumpkin spice scone, and one birthday cake pop to go please. oh, and i would also like a side of love and joy forever please. hold that, i forgot, already have it.

summer bucket list

1. go to a concert
2. go to seattle
3. go to the coast at least two more times [one of those trips HAS to include tillimook cheese factory!]
4. swim in a pool
5. drink lemonade from a mason jar
6. stay out all night
7. go to a barbeque
8. go see a movie
9. try someplace new every time we eat out
10. have a picnic
11. buy fireworks from washinton [cause those are REAL fireworks, son!]
12. go camping
13. attend a play
14. record a song together
15. get burgerville onion rings [so expensive. so worth it.]
16. go longboarding

craig and i came up with a summer bucket list to maxamize the sunshine and fun we experience over the next couple months. little squirt is excited to come along on all our adventures, from here on out!

we're so excited.