being in love

it really hit me hard a couple days ago how much i love, love, LOVE having this baby. i adore her. she's the sweetest little package. i want to squeeze her so tight all day and keep her just this way forever. she's already growing up and changing so fast. i can see her changing right in front of me and it kills me but i love the new things she does every day even more than i did the new things she did the day before.

my favorite part of the whole day [besides when craig comes home from work and she smiles at him and just before he falls asleep when we get to snuggle and talk] is when she wakes up at night to eat. who saw that coming? but honestly, it's so precious it melts my heart. i sleep next to her 90% of the time and when she wakes up to eat i wake up to her squeaking and sucking on her hands [that's how she tells me she's hungry] and now she's big enough to snuggle closer and i hold her tight and curl up around her and rub her back and just feel SO HAPPY. i love being that close to her, i can't stand putting her down for very long, i like feeling like she never left, that we're still as snuggly close as ever.

my sweet mommy has been with me since last monday, helping me take care of this little one and keep the house running. kahree is so good at being a baby so far that we've been taking her out on little trips just to see how it goes but most of the time we've just been sitting around and watching both seasons of Downton Abby and as much of Lost as we can get through before mom has to fly home. and holding a baby all day long. it's been a party.

i've lost 33 pounds since the day before kahree was born, which makes all my fat pants unwearable now, which is fabulous. but i still can't fit into my normal pants yet so getting dressed every day still hasn't turned back into an enjoyable experience, especially with nursing thrown into the mix. i still haven't figured out how to dress for convenient nursing yet and it makes me wonder how i'm going to ever go anywhere again, especially since kahree sometimes eats every half hour or 45 minutes. i never time feedings so i'm not sure how often or how long she's going to eat at any given time, but i'm hoping it becomes more regular eventually so that i'm not struck with a serious feeding crisis + wardrobe malfunction in the middle of a Target someday or something. but maybe that happens to everyone? i just keep feeling like there's some sort of dressing to nurse secret that i just don't know yet. the hospital forgot to give me my baby's instruction manual before i left, so it can't be helped.

baby kahree is in her swing next to me right now. i don't put her down enough for her to use it very much but my mom just put her in it so she could rinse dishes and kahree keeps making sweet little giggle sounds. and sneezing. she sneezes all the time. it's way too cute. i can't believe how content she is so just sit there and swing right now and make faces at me. my favorite face is when she pulls her chin back and gives herself a double chin and makes a teeny little O with her lips and scrunches her eyebrows. oh those eyebrows! i've been spoiled.