Thursday, March 28, 2013

if you want

i guess it is officially spring. and i officially have cabin fever. it's not very easy for kahree and i to find places to play outside but that doesn't stop me from wanting to be out there every day it isn't raining. which i guess isn't that many days here in oregon. touche.

i've been wondering a lot about what maters. really matters. family, obviously. i know that much. but what else? money and things, probably not. but don't experiences matter? memories? the time you spend with your family? it seems like you need money and things to make those happen. and what about extended family? grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. does the time spent with those family members matter more or less than the things that kinda matter to your immediate family, like living comforts and clothing? should your priority as a parent be to provide comfort, or opportunities, or inspiration, or education, or adventures, or challenges, or fields to run in and mud to play in, or good schools to learn in, or safe houses to sleep in, or family to grow with, or friends to play with? what about your priorities as a spouse? time together matters. i know that much. but does it matter less or more than providing for your children? do we just barely scrape by and cover all the bases the best we can leaving us giving only a little attetion to each area? is that life? or do we pick a couple things that we do really well and scarafice the rest? is THAT life? if family matters most how much family do you need? does the risk of leaving my living child outweigh the benefits of trying to have more living children? i know there's a plan. but i don't know what that plan is so i have to make choices. and those choices are hard. and trying to stay the same is impossible. and some days are just so, so good. what makes those days good? is it the lack of those things that makes a bad day bad? but if family matters most, and i always have my family, why are there times when everything seems so much harder? why is it that some times we feel perfectly content and other times we feel like we're barely holding on and like the rest of life is a huge unknown? so what's the problem? what's the answer?

where do we go from here?

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

puppy love

i found these random and amazing pictures from last month that i don't remember taking. maybe because according to the date i was still taking my post surgery oxycontin. that whole weekend is a series of floating blurs now. i'm not sure why kahree only has a diaper on her bottom half, i'm usually super committed to keep her properly clothed. but how cute is this, just a little girl with barely a year under her belt (diaper?) and her dog.  i just can't get over them. i hope i never do.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

10/52, 11/52, 12/52 and 13/52

"a portrait of my daughter, once a week, every week, in 2013"


dressed in their sunday best and on the way to see gigi and pop-pop. can you tell they are related?


kahree loves to go to work with me and play with the big kids and all the toys. on this day the sun was shining and we got to play outside.


we all went to the zoo for craig's birthday. she loved so much of it but for some reason she didn't seem to care much about that CRAZY AWESOME LION JUST SITTING THERE. but she went bonkers when she couldn't pet the mountain goats. priorities. 


playing outside with mommy on a nice day. spring, get over here.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

she tried, she couldn't help but sing

this is a post all about how incredible Kahree is at talking. that's it. nothing else. all I'm going to write about is all her cute little words and how smart she is. if that's not what you're into you'll probably be pretty bored. but this is my blog and I write what I want. ha!

first and foremost, her favorite word is "pepper." it is usually the first thing she says every day and it is the word she uses the most times per day.

every other dog she sees she calls "puppy." she loves every single one, real or cartoon, pictures, YouTube, big and small.

whenever she sees a wolf she has a precious little howling noise that she uses. it doesn't apply to foxes, she thinks foxes growl. which is probably accurate but I am surprised she can tell the difference.

when she sees bunnies we taught her to breathe in and out of her nose really fast, it's the cutest thing ever. ever.

she used to say "at" to refer to all cats. she doesn't anymore. she says "meow." i am serious. she recognizes and acknowledges every one but refuses to say cat anymore. even if I say cat she responds with meow. I don't know why, I just know it's amazing.

she knows which animals growl, like bears and lions. she's pretty good at imitating the unrealistic pig and horse sounds in her new barnyard toy. she knows owls say "hoohoo" and an according to her elephants make a high pitch raspberry sound. frogs don't say "ribbit," she literally makes a croaking sound. she makes all the appropriate sounds immediately whenever she spots the corresponding animal. if she sees a new animal she likes sometimes she goes crazy combining all the sounds she knows trying to find the right one.

she says "hi" and "hey" and "bye." if I call her name sometimes she says "what?"

she uses "uh-oh" in perfect context. like every time she drops something, on purpose or accidentally. or when she finds something on the ground that shouldn't be there.

this isn't a specific word but I feel like it's good communication, if I see her pick up a potential choking hazard (usually left there by pepper) I ask her what she's got there. and she always, always brings them to me with great haste, as if to say "I found something dangerous, quick! dispose of it!"

whenever she sees pictures of Jesus she just completely lights up. she waves and says "hi jeez!" over and over. it makes me melt.

when I stopped nursing her I started bringing her attention to belly buttons to help distract her from the you-know-whats close by. I poked her belly button all the time while making raspberry sounds. then one day she saw a picture of a baby in a diaper and she pointed at his belly and made a raspberry sound. now she thinks all belly buttons need to be addressed and raspberried at, especially mine and Craig's. when no one else is around she gives us zerburts (anyone else know what those are?) if I ask her where her belly button is she lifts up her shirt and I think that is the funniest of all.

speaking of babies, she loves them. she says "hi baby!" over and over. even the ones bigger than her. the fastest way to cheer her up is to pull up a picture of a baby on my phone. can't tell what her cut off date for being a baby is, she calls a lot of toddlers babies but not all of them. maybe if they have too much hair she doesn't consider them babies anymore.

she loves her dady. when he's at work she looks for the pictures of him on my phone and when I show them to her she says "dad-dee" so many times. my name is "mom-mom" but she doesn't say it hardly at all. and then only if she's yelling at me for doing something that upsets her, like changing her clothes.

she says "mmm, mmm, mmmmm" when she's eating something she likes. she says "no" when we stand at the fridge and I point at all the things to drink until we find the one she wants, then she says "yeah." she doesn't say yeah for many other things, but she always manages to say it in the right context. the only other time she says "no" is when she's helping me scold pepper. which is amazing.

she says please when we make her, before giving her a bite of something, usually. lately she's also been saying thank you in those cases, but sometimes she says "please thank you!" all at once, before receiving whatever she's asking for. the only other time she says please is in a desperate scream when we're doing something for her own good that she does not enjoy, like putting her in a carseat. I think that's pretty hilarious.

she calls her grandpa Clint "pop-pop." that's the only other I can think of that she knows.

she LOVES balls. tennis balls, basket balls, even oranges and apples can induce her habit of saying "ball, ball, ball, ball" at least ten times. it's nuts. sometimes I'm like yes, a see the ball/avocado/egg. calm down. and then other times i remember to not be a jerk. she used to say "buh" for book but not lately, maybe she just cares to much about balls to have time for books.

she knows dinosaurs roar. she can also say dinosaur, but just barely. it sounds more like "die sir."

snakes say "ssssssss." and so do scorpions. not sure about that one.

I forgot that she also calls pretty much any cute animal that she doesn't already know the name or sound of "baby."

she says "draw" whenever she gets crayons at a restaurant or when she plays with the little chalk board in her room.

just this week, right after getting her brand new big girl sneakers from her gigi and pop-pop, she learned how to say "shoe." the first two time where as clear as day. now she mostly just says "chew," or something, but she says it almost every time I prompt her. I thought she was going to learn to say "cracker" this week too, but no luck. maybe next week.

that's all I can remember right now. are you super impressed? I am, every day. she's the best.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

a little music

here's a lovely little music video for your enjoyment. i just can't get mewithoutYou out of my head this week, i just love them. after seeing them last summer i asked craig if he would consider being brother husbands with aaron weiss [the lead singer]. he's still thinking about it.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

february photo roundup

pictures from my phone during the month of february.

[caught red-handed]
 [going on a hot date]
[playing with pooh bear]
[grumpy goose]
 [stealing mommy's project]
[bedtime stories]
 [she loves her pop-pop]
 [stylish as always]
[the very best news]
 [what a looker]
[blanket hog]
[a pregnant snack]
[too sassy]
 [a special friend]
 [her favorite thing]
 [all kinds of tired]
 [her face. i died]
[spreading the love]
 [making tiny leg warmers]
[i'd hold that]
[wrapping presents for someone's very first birthday]
[self portrait]
[representing TBS]
[i got a bow in her hair, briefly]
[fish and rice and dinosaur train]
[sweet puppy, being sad and snuggly with me]
[a fancy valentine]
[just like daddy]
 [snuggles while waiting for mommy's doctor's appointment]
 [craig's idea of recovering from sugery, he was spot on]
 [party preparations]
 [special birthday treats]
 [opening presents]
 [she caught on fast]
[tucked her favorite one under her chin for safe keeping] 
 [i wish you could've heard her giggles]
 [seriously, the best]
[waiting for our little guests]
[surprise delivery of get-well flowers from my bethie, made me cry and cry]
[partied so hard that she passed out on her pony, in a tutu]
 [happy birthday, darling]
 [how is she SO funny?]
[batman joined us for dinner]
 [she doesn't give it back until she's sure her 7 teeth are spotless]
 [birthday cupcakes, round two]
[a big brunch, all for her]
 [coloring at shari's]
[sometimes she loves me back]
 [little curls]
[crazy curls]
 [my favorite onesie]
 [it's what i live for]
 [a peek into summer]

please march, give me something good.