Monday, October 31, 2011

this is halloween

for halloween craig and i spent the day together in salem thrifting and shopping for baby things. since we've been steadily acquiring baby essentials we've had an itch for some baby non-essentials, like baby toys. i've found that i've formed some oddly strong opinions on baby toys all the sudden. you know all the plastic toys out there with all the bright colors and noise making attachments that stimulate brain growth? i hate them. i hate the thought of plastic toys and little pieces of things scattered all over our home. i'd much rather have other things, plush toys, dolls, doll houses, puppets and finger puppets, and most of all wooden puzzles and toys. old fashioned wooden toys and blocks are my favorite. i love them. i wish we were rich just so we could spend all our money on precious wooden toys, blocks and puzzles. melissa and doug became our favorite brand today while we were window shopping at a pricey kids store in the salem mall. we also had mini anxiety attacks at the pure excitement of being around so many neat toys and games. we just wanted to live in that store. i got super nostalgic about all the things i used to own and started kicking myself for growing up and thinking i was "too cool" for toys and getting rid of them all. i had SO MANY awesome things that i would love to have for kahree now! what was i thinking? lesson learned kids, save all your cool toys, you'll need them again someday.

we talked sweetly, held hands, walked around, had lunch and enjoyed the day. we found all sorts of wooden blocks at thrift stores and value village that i can't wait to clean up and paint. we bought kahree some skippy jon jones books from the book bin in salem [most amazing bookstore ever, we love it now]. if you haven't heard of those books yet you better start listening, your life + your family's lives are not complete without them. we already have some of the classic stories but the ones we got today were hard paged books for little kids all about colors and the alphabet and that good stuff. when craig saw them he picked one up, shook it in my face, and shouted "did you know skippy jon jones could TEACH YOU THINGS??" bahaha, he's such a sweet, involved daddy. i love every minute of it.

tomorrow we're getting up early to go buy all the leftover discounted halloween candy. this is my favorite part about halloween, hands down.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

buster the bunny

all day at work yesterday i was thinking about bunnies. sometimes i think it's the next kind of pet i want. i showed my co-worker a whole bunch of pictures of these breeds of giant bunnies that really do exist. have you seen them? they're as big as dogs sometimes! go google them. you know you want too.

on our way home from work craig saw a bunny on the side of the road. we always slow down and look at road-side wildlife, especially raccoons, if any animal is exciting and in the wild we call them "creatures." so craig spotted a bunny creature and swung back around to get a good look. it was almost midnight and raining a bit, we were only going to look at the bunny until he ran off. but then he didn't, even when we got closer and shined our lights on him. so i did what every smart kid should do when they see a wild animal outside, i left the safety of the car and went to it. i just got worried about him, if he wasn't going to run away from us how was he going to run away from real danger? i wanted to spook him so he'd run back home and away from the road. but he never ran. and before i knew it i was holding a bunny in my lap and petting him.

he was small but not a baby, just not a grown up, and so soft and sweet. we thought maybe he wasn't wild because he wasn't thrashing around or freaking out, but then we thought maybe he was just in shock. he had one leg clung to his chest and i thought for a second it was missing, it was there but still covered in blood. in the dark it looked like he had hurt his paw and was going to have trouble getting away from anything he needed to run from [like meddling humans...] craig made some phone calls but the only animal control we could get a hold of told us they "don't do rabbits." it may just have been the prego hormones, but i just couldn't leave him. if we did he'd die. i know everything goes home someday, but i'd hate to feel like it was my fault when something died. besides, i love bunnies, i had been thinking about them all day, it wasn't just a random find. so i wrapped him up in my shirt and carried him to the car and we took him home with us [it was only a little illegal, as we found out later]. on the way we named him buster, because we had just gotten to the episode in arrested development that buster had lost his hand to a loose seal, and our new little friend had a hurt little hand.

he never bit or scratched me and craig made sure i washed my hands frequently and changed my clothes after handling him. even if he was a lost domestic bunny he still could've picked up some unpleasantries. the first this i did was give him a quick bath to get his paw clean. after i got all the blood off of it i couldn't find a wound and we realized the blood was coming from his nose. which was not a happy sign. but we bundled him up and gave him some apple chunks to snack on and called it a night. i felt like even if he didn't make it to the morning at least he'd be somewhere warm where he was loved. craig said if he was a domestic bunny we'd make sure we'd have his shots and then we'd keep him forever. if he was wild we'd make sure he'd get better enough to go back home.

this morning we drove him to an animal rescue/care clinic in portland. he was quite a bit more active and jumpy in the morning, which was good because he wasn't in shock but still bad because now he was getting stressed out. when we got him there they told us he was definitely a brush rabbit and that they could take care of him until he was better. i was sad that we couldn't keep him but glad that he would be cared for, she said he didn't seem in great shape but gave me a number to check on him later. i never called. i don't think i want to know. i just want to think he turned out just fine, made a full recovery, started a family, and told all his little bunny children about the night he was rescued by giants.

it might seem like a lot of effort for one tiny creature. but i know even small things that don't make a difference still make some difference. i can't end world hunger, but i can do little things to help, i can pay my tithing, i can help people i come across, i can do what i am can. likewise i can take a hurt bunny home and keep him safe, so why wouldn't i? and Heavenly Father cares about all of His little creatures. it also made me so glad to have a husband like craig, who is willing to do crazy things to comfort me and make me happy, who has compassion when i'm crying in the rain on the side of the road holding a bleeding bunny even when we both knew how silly we were being. we both had a moment where we realized that this was a scenario that we had only been through as children who wanted to bring home stray animals and we both found ourselves in the role of the parent/adult for the first time, and got to choose what kind of parent we were going to be in the face of "can i keep it?" it turns out we're the pushover type of parent, and that's just fine with us. i also realized for the first time while i watched buster huddle in the little tote we gave him that i would never want to keep a pet bunny in a cage, something better to realize sooner as opposed to later. craig promised me that when we have a house someday with a fenced back yard i can have all kinds bunnies running around out there. that's something sweet to look forward to.

Friday, October 28, 2011

i got you this

it's a present, just for your enjoyment. it happened because a co-worker gave me a bag of apples for a snack at work last night and it was also at the very end of our shift. that's the point of the day when you lose your senses and turn into crazies.

right? craig tried it too but he wasn't as good at it. i think he should probably consider that a good thing though.

i think we'll take this act on the road and become famous. get our kids into it, once they grow teeth. we'll be a family of apple mouths.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

carmel apples [he says he loves me]

craig and i had errands to run this morning. that turned into craig running errands and not even waking me up to make me feel bad about not being awake to run errands with him. we hardly EVER do anything apart, we're always together even for silly things like running to the bank or picking up some groceries. but lately i've been getting up even earlier than usual and sleeping in for just this morning felt soooo nice. when craig got home and i finally woke up he had a surprise for me.

remember how much i've been demanding caramel apples lately? well, he found one today. it was HUGE and BEAUTIFUL and so wonderful! i told him it's my first caramel apple ever and he couldn't believe we didn't get one sooner, but it's true! i've had apple slices dipped in caramel dip before but i've never had the real deal, on a stick, crunchy chewy caramel apple. i was surprise to find they use granny smith apples but now i see how genius it is, the sour plus sweet is the perfect mix. isn't craig the sweetest? i'm loving fall with him this year.

so, that's what made my day awesome =] how was yours?

Monday, October 24, 2011

baby registery

this is in my house right now. we got it today and i built it very skillfully, while talking to my mom on the phone and making plenty of mistakes. then i had to take it out to craig and have him use his muscles to fix one part for me, BUT you don't need to know that! you just need to know i built it and that i'm awesome. this infant seat is the very cutest it can possibly be. it's much less pink than we'd thought it would be and much more cream, which is not a problem at all. craig complained that i made it with the teddy bear's bottoms where they're going to be in her face. remind me to flip them around before she gets here, yeah?

also happened today: we made a baby registry. i finally gave in. i wasn't going to do it, i just hate the feeling of being all HEY HEY BUY ME THIS STUFF AT EXACTLY THIS PRICE OR I WONT BE HAPPY AND I'M NOT GIVING YOU A CHOICE! i don't feel that way at all when other people make registries, just when I make them, that makes total sense, right? i just loved how at my baby shower in washington everyone gave us gifts and advice that they had chosen special, not that i had chosen beforehand. but i also know that some people prefer to have a baby registry, they do make things quick and simple and even i know how valuable that can be, and i'm not even busy yet! i think the real thing that made me decide that we should make a registry was when a few days ago i was struggling to think of all the things we had and all the things we still need and keep track in my head of all the little things i thought of and where to get them. i'm a list person, i love lists, and i kept thinking "MAN, i wish there was a cool, easy way to put together a list of all these products and miscellaneous baby stuff i still need and where to get it from so when people asked me i could give them an easy answer." hmmm, that sounds like a baby registry to me, am i right?

we decided to go to target to do it because we LOVE target all the day long. and because my friend jessica informed me that the aden + anais swaddling blankets i've been obsessing over for moooonths [you've seen me obsessing over them, you know you have] are sold at target! now I'M sold on target. bad joke. you still love me.

it was a really fun way to spend our weekend, craig and i enjoyed it more than i thought we would. my favorite part was when craig stumbled upon some hair clips and bows and just started scanning them all. he is WAY too cute of a daddy. he reminded me that it was kinda like one of our very first dates all those years ago when we went to target pretending we were engaged to make a fake wedding registry, with a fake date and everything. yeah, we're a little crazy like that, but it paid off months later when target sent us a whole bunch of coupons for all the items no one got us! just kidding, we didn't use those coupons. but this time, we will. because we aren't making this baby up. this is legit.

we named the registry "baby kahree" and it has her full name and due date attached to it [eeek butterflies at seeing her full name in writing!] it has 26 items on it with a couple big things like a baby boppy and a high chair and a whole bunch of little things like burp clothes and those plastic covers for electric sockets. no diapers and no bottles, i don't plan on using either. we'll see about binkys. we shall see. i love that i can keep track of everything now and change my mind as i learn new things. being organized is my favorite, guys.

and here's our registry for your viewing pleasure, if any experienced moms or baby item buyers want to take a look and let me know what things/brand/styles i shouldn't have or have instead PLEASE let me know, i love advice, i can't get enough of it right now. i've never done this before so guidance is very much appreciated. also, i love babies.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

it's a stretch [WARNING: contains belly]

I haven’t really mentioned anything like this on my blog but I really feel like writing about it now. It's just something I've been working on for the last couple years that seems to have gotten a little harder lately as my body changes, but some days it's really easy for me to get really down about my appearance. I know everyone has those days or deals with/conquers issues like that to some extent but there are times when it seems like I'm not making any progress, times when I’ve had a complete meltdown because I just couldn’t get myself to look “good” that day. It’s something I’ve had to work on, learning to not let things like that affect me negatively, learning to react more patient and godly, learning that there are people suffering terrible things and my ingratitude is monumental when I act like can’t possibly feel joy in life because instead I’m allowing myself to be bothered by my frizzy hair or my acne or my less favorite curves in my body. It's not a new concept, we’ve heard of people who really struggled with self esteem before and rose above it, since I started blogging I've been inspired by many strong people/women/mothers who had a lack of confidence in their appearance like I do in mine and learned to gain confidence and love what God has given them. I know all this by now, I know what I should be doing and I’m working on it working on it. I've been much better than I used to be. Craig used to be so frustrated when I would completely ignore him telling me how beautiful he thought I just say horrible things about myself, the person he loved, and just list all the reasons why no one else thought so or why someone else was so much better than me. I know it’s irrational. I know there's a higher path. It’s gotten better, I promise, I’ve been learning and I hope I’ve improved. I've been able to feel more beautiful and treasured even when on the outside things weren't really going my way. It's a much better feeling and I've loved it.

But still…this is hard. Really hard. This is going to take some more getting used to.

I’ve had stretch marks since i was a pre-teen. My skin must just not be very healthy or elastic because it couldn’t even take the strain of going from a scrawny little kid to a normal sized teen. I’ve never gained a lot of weight all at once and I’ve never lost a lot of weight all at once but looking at the network of fine, white lines branching out all across my legs and thighs you’d think I went from 90 pounds to 120 pounds in a matter of weeks, not over the course of a decade. Even more recently, since I’ve been married I’ve gained/lost/found/lost/gained again a lovely little muffin top, sometimes very muffiny, sometimes not, depending on the day and how forgiving my pants are. But even that extra little stretch left nasty red marks up and down my sides. So I should be used to stretch marks, right? I guess I just really appreciated that my tummy and chest didn’t have them yet, and although I knew this was coming, I still wasn’t ready. Unless you’re one of those really lucky, elastic rubber band people your stomach doesn’t really stretch to the size of a small human being without leaving a few marks. It’s normal, it’s natural, it happens.

So why is this so devastating to me all the sudden?

Craig found them Friday morning. I woke up and came out of the bedroom, stretched, and they peaked out, and he saw them. I couldn’t see them, there was a big huge belly in the way, they were hiding right underneath where they were completely invisible to me. He was so excited, he pointed and exclaimed and smiled and maybe even giggled? And I ran to the mirror and thought “WHYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEE??!!” Because, Shilah, you’re having a baby, that’s why! And you’re going to have many more babies and many more stretches and tears and breaks and who knows what else yet. You knew this was coming, why are you so surprised. I dunno, other Shilah who is kind of mean right now, maybe I just hoped I’d get extra lucky and that it wouldn’t happen to me.

I’m only nineteen, you know. I’ve been kinda of banking on this funny little hope I have that even though I accelerated into adulthood a while ago MAYBE my body hadn’t fully matured yet, and I was still going to transform just a little bit and MAYBE my hottest years were yet to come, you know, where maybe I’d look like a woman instead of a chubby teen who gets carded for pg-13 movies if I’m not wearing eye liner [don’t tell my daughter I watch pg-13 movies. She is NEVER watching a pg-13 movie.] I think I’m suddenly wondering/fearing if I’m going to skip that imagined, sexy womanhood phase and go straight into some frumpy heck designed special for me where I forever look like some shapeless morph between a teenager and a grandma in training. I KNOW appearances don’t matter nearly as much as we pretend they do, but I still haven’t progressed to the point where I’m not guilty of feeling happier and more confident when I think I look good and bothered and hindered when I think I don’t. I still care about what other people might think of me and how pretty I am. I care what other people think a lot, WAY too much, I’m talking STRANGERS here. It’s one of those things I have to get over. But I haven’t gotten over yet. So for now, this is hard.

The upside is that I can see my mistake as soon as I make it, which I hope is a step toward progression. What I mean is even as I stare in the mirror at my new permanent marks and start to pout I KNOW I shouldn’t be, and that’s a step towards stopping. I know that these aren’t shameful marks. I didn’t get them by making poor choices. I’ve been eating healthy, I take care of myself and I know my body is a temple and I don’t do things that would destroy it. But I still deserve this because I DID make a choice that caused this to happen, that’s making my body change, and that was the positive choice to have a baby and to start a family with my sweet and loving husband. My body is housing and sustaining precious life. It’s doing EXACTLY what it was made and meant to do. Looking hot and thin and stretch-markless would be nice, but it’s not what I was MEANT to do. I was meant to be a mother. And I know that as much as I may want to I should not hate or resent my body for whatever flaws it sustains in these next few years as our family grows. I should respect it and be grateful for its ability to bring my children into this world. Stretch marks and all.

I need to write about this now and get it all out so I don't forget it later when things get funkier. If it's up here for all to see then I'll have something to look back on and take confidence in when I lose my mind in a couple months, cause you bet I know the worst is yet to come. I know how I should be feeling and what my outlook should be and I don’t want to forget it. Yes, this is a hard thing for me right this moment, but I know it doesn’t have to be and hopefully I can continue to remind myself to stop being disappointed with myself for not looking as what I think is up to par and to keep being grateful that I have a body that can do this as well as it does. That alone is such a blessing. This isn’t anything to sneer at. So, hey down there stretch, marks, what’s up? You can’t really ruin my life. Wanna know why? I don’t wear bikinis anyway. So carry on.

Also, when’s this baby going to get here? She owes me cuddles.

p.s. is kinda gross. But you gotta admit I'm super brave right now. Don't worry, I won't torture you with close up belly shots when the horrors reeeeeally start accumulating right towards the end...or WILL I? Muahaha, my blog, my rules. Just don't say I didn't warn you ;]

Friday, October 21, 2011

these are a few of my favorite things

my little miss has so many cute things waiting for her out here. these are a couple of my very favorites so far:

a bath set with toys and a ducky bath robe from her aunt drashell, my big sister. the little rubber ducky tells you if the water is too hot and craig thinks the little frog toy is the most adorable. i'm getting so excited for bath times! can you bath a baby too much? someone should warn me before it's too late.
my friend jeannine carter [who sweetly let us use her house for the baby shower] also provided some exciting bath time items, like hooded towels and a couple wash clothes. be still my heart!

hot pink uggs. what has happened to me? these are almost my favorite thing in existence and i'm not even ashamed! our good friend barb hoffer told me she had fun shopping for these because she has seven grandsons and no baby girls to shop for.

sweet little pea dress and sockies from auntie bethie, my bestie. too sweet, right? i think this is my very favorite little girl dress ever. it made me finally decide that these little dresses can't be hiding away in a drawer, it just wouldn't do. so we picked up a garment rack for ten dollars at grocery outlet and now i have all the cutest baby dresses all hung up in her room. perfect solution for a complete lack of extra closet space in our apartment.

little lady shoes from sweet friend jane nelson. they make me melt.
is it my due date yet? i'm getting impatient for this little love to get here.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

25 weeks

i'm 25 weeks, yo. word. i'm also in a workplace restroom. gross.

i want this baby to be here. so soon! and yet still so long.

teddy bears

look what craig got for his daughter today:

i can't believe how much i love it. also, where did all this pink come from? i've never been a big fan of pink. and now it's like if i even catch a glimpse of something pink i have to touch it and decide how much we NEED it. something must happen in your brain when you have a daughter. something terrible. and wonderful too, obviously, look at that adorable pink infant chair that is on its way to us because of the pink chemical change that has happened in my head. it has frolicking teddy bears! FROLICKING! 

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

baby shower

i think it's about time we talk about this baby shower that my mommy threw for me when craig and i drove up to washington on the fifteenth. she had a nice, sweet evening planned, and then it turned into a wild, crazy party. but i won't show you any of THOSE pictures, too many people would just be so embarrassed. just kidding. but really, maybe i'm not, how are YOU supposed to ever know for sure?

i guess you'll just have to take my word for it. and here's the side of the story i will tell you:

first of all, long before we ventured up to washington my mommy mailed/emailed all the invitations out. i drew the picture on the cover, here's what they looked like. look familiar at all?

our friends the carters let us use their big, pretty house to hold the shower in. it was in a really great location, much less up in the mountains and far far away than my parent's house is. so all these pictures were taken in their fancy home and you can contact them for decorating tips and secrets. i know you'll want to.

 my sweet husband craig is responsible for almost all the photography. what i would give for a good camera, he's so skilled at taking pictures and i wish he had the proper equipment to help nurture his talent. i'm SO glad he came to the shower, i've never been to a baby shower before with the father present but i know it happens more and more lately, and i honestly loved it. he was an extra super helper that we all could boss around all night. and when he wasn't getting bossed around [by me, i kept leaving my water bottle where i couldn't reach] he spent his time just being completely charming, i love how involved of a daddy he is. he could probably be the best dad ever AND a better mom than me, at the same time.

my mommy, craig, big sister drashell, and little sister ahnahceleh were all there as part of the genius team behind the shower. our guests included my big sister jolain and my niece sierra, our dear friend jane nelson, the always amazing renae swecker, ,leslie ostrum, a friend of mine since i was a little one,
barbra hoffer, a friend of my mommy's who did all the decorating for our washington wedding reception back in the day, and my bestie bethie!

my mommy slaved over a stove all day and did all the delicious baking. she made her gourmet lemon bars recipe and apple crisp [the perfect dessert for fall, i'm so glad i got some of that home baking, i miss getting fed by my parents]. there were bowls for mixed nuts and lemon drop candies. i made some lemon cupcakes and little flags to go in them out of paper from a childrens songbook. we drove them up unfrosted from oregon to spokane, and my sister drashell frosted them for me when we got to the shower. she also helped set up and took charge of the two kinds of delicious punch we had and then took the job of cleaning up after all of us party animals. isn't she sweet!

my little sister ahnahceleh spent the day helping me put together some decorations for the shower. all the mason jars/vases were decorated by us, she held a LOT of things still for me while i tied bows on them. she usually had to hold them upsidedown because my most perfect bows somehow naturally come out upsidedown so we had to trick them into submission. ahnahceleh also sorta participated in BEING a decoration. look at her. she's so fancy. she's the one in with the spikey hair and the japanese dress thing. if she was here she could tell me what it was called.

as part of the shower decor we had a little photo album with all of our ultrasound pictures of kahree so far and then some baby/little kid pictures of me and craig. instead of a guest book we had a big jar for people to leave notes/drawing in. i accidentally left the jar in washington so i still haven't read all the notes yet! i can't wait though. i think it'll be a sweet thing to have in kahree's room. craig drew the sweet little drawing on for the jar of us as lemon-headed people with a little lemon baby on the way. we also had a little box of envelopes for people to address to themselves, since i'm so bad at making sure thank you notes actually LEAVE my house after i write them. hopefully this helps ensure that they all get where they're going!

for the first game there was a candy guessing activity. my mom and sister picked out a pretty vase and we filled it with lemon drops and had all of our guests guess how many where in there. the winner got to keep the vase and all the candies! my niece sierra guessed the closest, everyone else guessed high and she was only about ten off of the real number. i very dramatically handed the vase over to her.

our second game was another guessing game, this time our guests had to guess how big they thought my tummy was using a length of yarn. this was a simple game but very amusing. i was barely six months along at the time so i was just starting to get pretty big, to the point that you could tell it had to be a baby and [hopefully] not just think i was getting chubby. our dear friend jane nelson guessed it just an inch or so off and won. it was one of the very lowest guesses, so that made me happy. i love to hear i don't look very big still, so please, when i'm ten months and counting, do me a favor and tell me i don't look a day over eights months? thanks, you're a doll.

our next game is one of my favorite baby shower games ever, i think it's just hilarious. mommy picked up diapers and ten kinds of chocolate candy bars to put inside them. to prepare this game you just need to put the diaper with its candy bar into the microwave until it's melted and maybe even a little explodey. after we did this craig passed all the very gross, poopy looking diapers around and our guests had to try to figure out what kind of candy bars were responsible for the diaper mess. isn't that SO funny? i gave everyone permission to tastes the candies to help them guess but no one went for it. it was still an amusing sight to see everyone passing around dirty diapers to each other and staring at them quizzically.

for our last game some guests brought a baby picture of themselves and we layed them all out and everyone had to guess who they thought was who. not everyone brought one and i threw craig's and mine into the mix even though we weren't playing, so it made it extra tricky for everyone. i love seeing pictures of people as babies and seeing what features they've had since they were born! i also love seeing what other people see in faces that are already so familiar to me that i don't notice the little things, like how bethie knew which two pictures were me and ahnahceleh but she couldn't tell who was who exactly, she had it right until the last second when she switched them around. and i never knew how alike we looked as babies! my favorite picture was of my mommy when she was little, i don't think i ever saw a picture of her as a baby before now. it was SO cute, she was so animated and so obviously her, i loved it.

we wanted to have party favors and so i stole a really neat idea from my friends jessica's baby shower. we had a bunch of lemons with recipes for my mommy's lemon bar recipe attached to them, so that our guests could use the lemon to make the recipe. we originally planned to use apples to match the apple crisp but when i found out we were having a baby girl everything kind of just led into a little lemon theme and we ran with it. craig drew both the pictures for the recipe, the one of the dad tossing the lemon up in the air is my very favorite.

craig's camera died in the middle of the whole gift opening bit, but you can see a couple of my favorites here. was really so grateful to have cute little girl things for kahree when she gets here and things to help me take care of her and make her happy. and it was so amazing to see friends and family from home again, i don't even know how much i REALLY miss them until i finally get to visit and then have to go back home again.

being in the presence of close friends and some wonderful, experienced mothers and getting to hear about their experiences and advice was such a blessing. i hope i can manage to be like them someday, raising children who are loving, good people despite the mistakes i know i'll be making. carrying this little girl right now the thing i keep thinking i want the very MOST in raising is not for her to turn out "just right," but for her to grow up knowing how intensely loved she is. for the first time ever i'm realizing hugs and snuggles may be more important than rules and good behavior. now that i'm almost a mommy i know how much of a perfect mother mine was to me, even though i didn't know or appreciate it at the time, and i have to stop myself from panicking every time i feel that i might not be able to do as good as she did. i mean did you see this baby shower? what if i can never throw the perfect baby shower for my daughter! i guess she'll just have to ask her grandma to do it. that's the only sure way to get a really rockin' party.