the queen of hearts

my little kahree had turned one on the fifteenth of february and i think it's the saddest thing that's every happened to me. at the same time, how wonderful is it that she's turning into such an incredible little person? on top of that, good job shilah + craig for keeping another human alive for a whole year. parenting is not my easiest...hobby?

i'm sure the tiny breakdowns i had over her becoming a walking, talking little one year old won't be my last ones. overall i didn't really have time to be all extensional and dramatic about it. i was pretty distracted the whole week leading up to it. and not quite two days before i had an emergency surgery to remove and repair an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured. i don't really know what to say about all of that right now. except for how you should know right this second that every little wonderful thing that kahree had on her birthday was because her daddy made sure it happened. i had great, big plans for her special day and i powered through it with a foggy head and new stitches and i'm sure it's quite obvious that the whole thing would've fallen flat on its face if craig hadn't been there to catch it from the moment we woke up to the moment we passed out. so three cheers for kahree and craig on a very special birthday.

since i couldn't pick up or nurse kahree craig took her with him everywhere he went and on every birthday errand. while he was picking up gluten-free cupcakes and pizza i limped around and put these hearts on the wall. and i love them, so i haven't taken them down.

 after we had lunch and watched a lot of redbox together kahree went down for a nap. when she woke up we let her open all her presents. the chapter books were from us and the rest of the books were from her grandma susan. we bought her little stuffed friend, peeko, in hopes that she would bond with him [it's working]. kahree tore into all her gifts and took time to look through every, single one. it completely warmed my heart. and the moment she met her peeko she looked at him closely and then pulled him into a big, tight hug and kiss.

after her presents were put away we let her have her very first cupcake. it was gluten-free and birthday cake flavored and oh so delicious. she eventually demolished it and left only a tiny pile of crumbs behind. it took her a while to get messy though, at first she couldn't stand the feeling of the frosting stuck to her fingers. when she was all done i took some pictures of her with my phone right when she started this really deep, manic giggle. and it lasted for ages. i wish i had been taking a video instead. it was so adorable. i love how insanely happy she seemed.

just before five o'clock we pulled out a whole bunch a toys from her room and put them in the living room and started baking some pappa murphys [easy peasy, you'll remember that i was useless and besides, PIZZA, am i right?]. three of her best baby friends were coming over with their folks to party hard with us. looking back we probably could've used less toys but i wanted to make sure they could just go crazy. they brought her sweet gifts and she gave them all kisses and although my memories of the rest of the evening are hazy i do remember how perfect it was and feeling like it was all worth it.

i love these pictures. kahree was sitting and waiting in her circus tent right before her friends arrived. and in that last one she had climbed up there in the middle of playing, i just love how content she looks. even though she won't remember all of this eventually at least she really enjoyed herself at the time.

i needed a couple pictures of me with my daughter on her first birthday. i wish we could've done more, i wish it had been better, but i love everything that it was. and i love her. i'm so glad i have her. happy birthday, kahree. we love you very, very, very much.