Tuesday, February 28, 2012

being in love

it really hit me hard a couple days ago how much i love, love, LOVE having this baby. i adore her. she's the sweetest little package. i want to squeeze her so tight all day and keep her just this way forever. she's already growing up and changing so fast. i can see her changing right in front of me and it kills me but i love the new things she does every day even more than i did the new things she did the day before.

my favorite part of the whole day [besides when craig comes home from work and she smiles at him and just before he falls asleep when we get to snuggle and talk] is when she wakes up at night to eat. who saw that coming? but honestly, it's so precious it melts my heart. i sleep next to her 90% of the time and when she wakes up to eat i wake up to her squeaking and sucking on her hands [that's how she tells me she's hungry] and now she's big enough to snuggle closer and i hold her tight and curl up around her and rub her back and just feel SO HAPPY. i love being that close to her, i can't stand putting her down for very long, i like feeling like she never left, that we're still as snuggly close as ever.

my sweet mommy has been with me since last monday, helping me take care of this little one and keep the house running. kahree is so good at being a baby so far that we've been taking her out on little trips just to see how it goes but most of the time we've just been sitting around and watching both seasons of Downton Abby and as much of Lost as we can get through before mom has to fly home. and holding a baby all day long. it's been a party.

i've lost 33 pounds since the day before kahree was born, which makes all my fat pants unwearable now, which is fabulous. but i still can't fit into my normal pants yet so getting dressed every day still hasn't turned back into an enjoyable experience, especially with nursing thrown into the mix. i still haven't figured out how to dress for convenient nursing yet and it makes me wonder how i'm going to ever go anywhere again, especially since kahree sometimes eats every half hour or 45 minutes. i never time feedings so i'm not sure how often or how long she's going to eat at any given time, but i'm hoping it becomes more regular eventually so that i'm not struck with a serious feeding crisis + wardrobe malfunction in the middle of a Target someday or something. but maybe that happens to everyone? i just keep feeling like there's some sort of dressing to nurse secret that i just don't know yet. the hospital forgot to give me my baby's instruction manual before i left, so it can't be helped.

baby kahree is in her swing next to me right now. i don't put her down enough for her to use it very much but my mom just put her in it so she could rinse dishes and kahree keeps making sweet little giggle sounds. and sneezing. she sneezes all the time. it's way too cute. i can't believe how content she is so just sit there and swing right now and make faces at me. my favorite face is when she pulls her chin back and gives herself a double chin and makes a teeny little O with her lips and scrunches her eyebrows. oh those eyebrows! i've been spoiled.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

birthday best

craig turned 25 this weekend. we celebrated with breakfast at home, lunch with his family, and dinner out. full tummies to kick off the next quarter of a century.

and lots of snuggles with this little goose. she got all dressed up for her daddy's special day.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

baby status

my baby is six days old

she had her first doctor's appointment today

she's 8 ounces above her birth weight

our doctor said they like to see them back at birth weight by their two week appointment. she obviously eats all the time.

she hates when her feet are covered

she only really cries when we change her diaper and her little bottom gets cold

our second night home she slept for five hours straight. it was insane. i kept waking up and just looking at her wondering how it was possible for a newborn to pass out like that. i promise i wasn't letting her starve.

she can roll over onto her side all by herself. and it freaks. me. out.

she loves to hold her own head up and smile so big

and i just love to hold her all day long

and grandma came to visit!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

home at last

this was our first evening home with our little fishy. we love her so much, every second. she's just the best baby i've ever met. and i get to keep her! insane!

it's been the craziest week, and the most wonderful. i feel like i just want to sit and do nothing but stare at my new baby all day. i also don't have much time to do anything but sit and stare at her all day. eventually there might be time for longer blog posts and writing birth stories and thousands and thousands of baby pictures. maybe soon. but for now, here's my new daughter in her swing. she loves it.

okay, okay, one more. look at her. she's perfect.

yeah. that was four more. one more.

i can't count. but who cares. i have a baby!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

strawberry feilds forever

this was our first day home together.

i love her little strawberry bottom, i love how teeny she is, and i love when she sleeps in that position. we call it her jelly bean pose.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

psst, guess what

i have a baby now.

kahree ember syren will.

born [finally] on february 15th at 9:15 am.

a perfect 7 pounds 5 ounces and 21 inches long.

so far she's the sweetest, easiest baby ever and we adore her.

everyone ever needs to come visit us and look at her all day.

p.s. she has eyebrows. I KNOW.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

we made it! [a post about good things]

 It’s my due date! That means that I can have a happy, healthy little baby any time now. I’m so glad I made it this far and didn’t deliver at 37 or 38 weeks like I thought [read: hoped] I was. I’ve come so far emotionally and mentally in preparing for this birth in the last couple weeks, it’s been such a blessing. Plus the extra days of just wasting time snuggling with my husband have been little treasures. Not that we’re the kind of people who won’t enjoy snuggling even more with a little squishy baby with us. We will. Life is about to get SO much sweeter. I’m so happy today. Here are some good things that are filling my heart and head right now:

The sun was shining all day long today and it was warm and wonderful! For Oregon this is just craziness. I hope the weather is still this nice when babykay gets here. I bet she’d love it.

My feet swelled up into giant hippopotamus feet last night! They were super hilarious. If she had come a couple weeks ago we would’ve missed this stage altogether. Goodness gracious does it look goofy.

Craig has been losing SO much weight lately and getting so healthy! I’d be super jealous but I plan on catching up with him super soon. We’ve finally gotten to a place where we’re EXCITED to be eating healthy and learning to not miss the “good stuff” [you know, donuts]. After trying to eat healthier myself to avoid more PUPPPs breakouts for so long it’s not to have him on board and to support each other. We’ve been buying almond milk exclusively and today Craig told me he wouldn’t be sad if we never bought “real” milk again. This is HUGE, people. This guy loves milk. But he loves almond milk more! I’m so glad, with less dairy in our diet already I’m hoping to have a better chance at nursing successfully. Yay!

When life with a little one stables out I’m really looking forward to taking some time to do some real meal planning and cooking. Like real grownups! There’s so much motivation and inspiration in the blog world for healthy and thrifty eating and meal preparing. Pinterest is kind of the best, no?

My mommy is coming to see us SO soon! A week or so after babykay finally arrives she’s going to come and stay with us for a little while. I’m so excited to spend time with her! We’re all going to be fighting over who gets to hold the baby all the time though. Craig and I already don’t know how we’re going get along by ourselves when neither of us can imagine not holding her 100% of the time. This is going to get interesting. Group hugs? All day long? It could happen.

I’m so excited to get in a healthy groove and to start looking and feeling fantastic. Contrary to my pre-pregnancy fears, this baby-growing experience hasn’t made me feel huge or hideous, not even at this point where my jeans are excessively baggy/frumpy and my feet are hilariously swollen in the evening. I give a lot of credit to Craig for how beautiful I still feel, he tells me all the time and makes sure I have the things I “need” to feel good about how I look. He let me buy a pair of maternity pants NOT on clearance! That’s not something we do, folks. But it was worth it. Even though I feel like I’m hovering in a good place I am SO excited to lose weight soon and exercise and someday in the near future go through my closet and get a few, nicer, well-fitting pieces. I even plan on getting a bra fitting eventually, when the size of my chest finds some sort of equilibrium after the havoc of nursing. I was inspired by this post and this post and I’m dreaming of a similar experience. I haven’t bought my own bras in years. Craig buys them. I don’t even know what size I am. The other day we went to get a nursing bra to have at the hospital with me and I was arguing with him about how big it should be and he finally said “Fine! I’ll come back later WITHOUT you and pick one out and it’ll be perfect!” And he’s probably 100% right. Bras and jeans. I can’t buy them without him. Alright, or underwear. You caught me. It probably sounds super weird but I like that he’s so good at buying girl clothes, he’ll bring things home for me that fit perfectly when I could struggling in a dressing room for days and never find anything that works. I just attribute it to how young and naive I am coupled with how awesome he is at everything. Makes sense to me.

You know what’s so much fun? When people see your giant baby belly ask you when you’re due and you get to say “Today!” And they act super impressed. It’s the best. I can’t wait until I can say “Yesterday!” That sounds like even MORE fun.

Craig and I have been walking about two miles every day this last week and it’s been SO nice. It’s helping me feel less sore and closer to labor but mostly it’s just been so nice to spend some time outside with him. We’re kind of homebodies. Ridiculously so. But now that spring is pretending to be here we’re getting excited for warm weather and being out and about with a baby. Craig thinks he wants to start running in the mornings and biking to work very soon and I’m looking forward to taking babykay out every day to get some fresh air. The great thing about walking around in our neighborhood is how AMAZING of a neighborhood it is. We run into someone we know/love every day and all the houses are just beautiful. We pick out what we like best about all the houses and which ones we’d like to live in someday.

Last but not least, I don’t know if I told you, but I’m having a baby soon! So far it’s my favorite happy thing ever. I am SO excited for labor and what an incredible and life changing experience it is going to be. I don’t care how many people tell me to be prepared for the “worst pain of my life,” I just don’t see it that way, even if it is [which I highly doubt] I’m so sure I’ll be in love with the experience. I’m excited to see this little one again finally and get to kiss her at last. I’m so excited for Craig to stop telling me to have a baby every day! Haha. It’ll happen, it’ll be interesting to see when and how. But I know it’ll happen!

Today has been the best due date ever.

Friday, February 3, 2012

39 weeks

it's my due date tomorrow and i'm still pregnant. i think craig gets a little more disappointed in me every day. not really, but he is awful eager for me to go into labor. every little pain or cramp i report to him makes him cheer and that gives me a little bit of an odd feeling but i know what he means. i think...

all week we've been going for walks every day right after we wake up. it's been an amazing week to almost be having a baby, the weather has been WONDERFUL! it's sunny and slightly warm and just  so comfy cozy and great weather for walking a couple miles every day, waddling around the neighborhood, trying to coax this baby out. after coming home from work on tuesday we really thought i was going into labor. craig still thinks i was but since it was so late i decided we should get as much sleep as possible and go to the hospital when i woke up with unbearable pain. well we woke up i still had all my symptoms but they gradual faded away. my mommy told me that with all her labors until they progressed to a certain point if she didn't keep moving they would stop. she couldn't relax in a tub or anything like that, she says she remembers walking the halls of the hospital for so long to keep her contractions going. so maybe next time i think labor might FINALLY be coming on i'll do jumping jacks instead of going to bed, haha.

i can tell my tummy is getting lower but it's really not that extreme or noticeable. i really just don't feel like there's very much room in my body for my baby to "drop" down to, any lower she'd just fall out. which would be way nice, actually...

today is fabulous because craig's momma brought our crib set over. isn't it the cutest thing? we love it. and how well it matches our new futon. that's an added bonus. craig picked this set out after dubbing all my favorite crib sets as "old ladyish." he fell in love with this one on sight and said very adamantly that it was the one we were getting. when a new daddy gets that excited about his little girl's bedding, you listen to him. fact.

i'm excited to see what happens this weekend. i hope it'll give me a baby. if not, i have an appointment on the sixth to see how things are going and to talk about what to do next. hopefully we'll have a little one very very soon!