craig's new scar, shilah's first gif

if you have any moles/a weak stomach you're probably not in the mood to be proud of me right now, but i made my first gif! oh and craig had a minor surgery recently. he was letting me practice my continuous shooting on my new camera while he took his bandage off after the required two days of wearing it. neither of us were expecting 7ish stitches. yikes. so here's the deal kids, if you have an uncomfortable mole you want to part with be willing to trade it in for a manly scar. craig's quite proud of his. we should probably get around to making up an epic story about where he got it from.

i vote shark attack.

edit: sooo...my gif only works if you click on it. fail.

misc.

oh hello. it's been a while. and then it was a while before that. i have lots of things to talk about and document, and i'll probably get to them all at once when i'm finally through procrastinating. in the meantime though, here's some random, miscellaneous instagram pictures from my phone that just aren't special enough to have a blog post of their own. enjoy!

this happened hours before i actually had to be awake. those required nightly trips to the bathroom are just starting to creep into my schedule. also, you can see how far i've come by the appearance of my husbands clothes into my own wardrobe. and that's just the beginning. this sweater was worn for three days. i think i changed my pants though, but i can't promise you that.

a dear friend back home in washington just sent me a baby swing. craig and i taught her son's primary class at school and she just had a baby girl about six months ago. my mom and i went to visit her when i was in washington for my baby shower and i told her how much i loved her baby swing, it caught my attention because craig and i had been looking for one we liked in our price range with no luck. so she bought me the exact swing and mailed it to me. and it's magnificent. it's way nicer than anything we would've picked out. i love her, she was so generous, and i feel like this baby is already way more spoiled than she even knows. our apartment is back to normal now but the baby room is still a forced mess, so i've been building all the baby equipment to satisfy my nesting desires. craig would be much better at it but it makes me feel capable when i can put together a baby swing all by myself.

rare okay-ish hair day. usually when i gain and lose weight it shows up in my face first, my cheeks are very good at holding a chub. but that hasn't been the case with this pregnancy. i keep waiting to get squirrel-faced but as far as i can tell it hasn't happened yet. this is what we call exciting. celebratory mirror picture commenced.

p.s. i pronounce miscellaneous with a hard "c" sound, even when i'm in public. i do the same thing with the word "muscles." musk-els. my kids are going to have no idea how to talk like real people.

early present

one of craig defining character traits is his inability to wait until christmas or birthdays before bestowing gifts. one of my [many] terrible character flaws is my inability to keep myself from ruining surprises. craig had the very best christmas surprise planned for me this year. a couple weeks ago the possibility of craig surprising me with this very item popped into my head and i immediately told him to never do it, it would be way too expensive. he did it anyway. and it was way too expensive. but i love it. and as an added extra he helped me come up with a list of justifications to help fight off the guilt, and most days it works pretty well. but so far i'm completely convinced i don't deserve anything this fancy.

craig decided i needed a camera. a nice one. a dslr type camera. and that's exactly what he got. it's not thousands of dollars worth of settings and features but it is nicer than anything i thought i'd ever use. he did all the researched and picked one out for me. he originally had his eye on the canon rebel T3 since i'm a fan of cannons, mostly just because i've played with them a lot and i know slightly more than nothing about them as opposed to every other camera in the world. but in the end he rushed me to best buy this morning for a one day deal on a sony alpha A33. normally almost $800 dollars. we got an open boxed deal, returned that morning, mint condition for more than three hundred dollars off. even when that man spends ridiculous amounts of money he still knows how to save ridiculous amounts of money.

just so you know, i know nothing about cameras. nothing. i'm struggling through the owners manual to learn all the cool tricks and get familiar with all the incredible custom settings i have but for the most part all i know for sure is that the canon was awesome and this camera is even more awesome, and i completely don't deserve it. it's still a beginner's camera but it fits my need so well and then goes light years beyond. craig is so excited we ended up with a sony, he's a self proclaimed "sony whore" and he just couldn't pass up a camera that syncs up with our tv. you heard me right. my favorite difference between the canon and this one is the screen that flips out and spins/tilts all the way around. i love how slick it looks and how amazing it feels in my hands. i love the lens it comes with and the fancy viewfinder. i love that craig just beams whenever i use it. he told me he wants to have a nice camera for when our babies get here, he wants me to be able to document their growth and our lives while getting quality results. he said he wants me to have a good camera to help make my blog visually appealing and for in the future when i get my etsy shop up and running to take good, appealing pictures of all my products. he thinks this is a good investment because he believes in me and thinks that i can really make good use of it. as for me, the fact that he gets to use it whenever he wants is what makes it actually worth it.

now, just like a girl and never quite satisfied, i'm obsessing over lenses and equipment and editing software and secret photography tips. i want to get so good at this and actually know what i'm doing. i don't know if looking at all the expensive accessories out there is really the right way to go about it but i haven't been able to stop yet. if i could ask my insanely rich, imaginary benefactor for more camera things for christmas and my twentieth birthday this is what s/he'd surely get me, for i am their very favorite poor beneficiary:

The Wide Angle & Macro Lens Adapter from Photojojo! So insanely awesome and for $50 instantly cheaper than investing in either lens alone. Photojojo! has all kinds of creative camera accessories and equipment but this is my favorite because i've already decided the next lens i want is a wide angle lens. you know, when we're rich. or when my imaginary benefactor starts existing. whichever comes first.

Jo's Totes camera bags. this one is the besty in mustard and i think it's my very favorite, although the "rose" is a close second. i look at these bags at least four times a day. i have several favorite bags and purses already but now that i want to incorporate this fancy piece of camera equipment into my day to day life i really wish i had something stylish and tailored to keep my equipment safe, right now i worry about my camera bumping around in my bag all the time. i've entered so many giveaways for a jo's totes bag and i will continue to enter every one i come across. they're the very prettiest and most practical i've seen and i feel like their prices are not outrageous at all for what they offer.

what does all this mean for you, dear reader? it means that from now on all the pictures you'll be forced to look at while reading this blog, possibly by accident or while being forced at gun point, will be far more pleasant to the eye than they have been previously. i'm so excited for you right now.

christmas tree

when i moved to oregon craig drew a picture of a christmas tree and taped it to the wall of his new apartment and put our presents under it. last year as boring, lazy newlyweds we didn't even go that far. i figured we'd start getting trees and ornaments next year when there's a little baby girl to be excited about it with us. but, like most good things that happen to us are usually caused by, craig found a good deal. and we bought our first christmas tree together this week.

it came out of a box, the branches needed to be shaped by hand, and it doesn't have a smell but it's so wonderful that it makes me tear up at least once a day. we've collected a few inexpensive but super shiny/glittery ornaments and we have the cutest little string of colored lights. i love having this little tree around, i love lighting it up late at night and getting snuggly and feeling all christmassy. christmas trees just can't be beat.

we're still on the lookout for a new star. next year we'll go out with kahree and pick out a tiny little live tree to put up along with this one. i'm already looking forward to it so much.

28 weeks, again, this time with pictures

i feel a lot more chipper right now that i have been the last couple days. whenever i get super stressed out craig tells me to "sleep breathe." it's a relaxation breathing technique we learned about in my hypnobirthing birth to help get you into a relaxed state throughout labor. i'm supposed to be practicing it anyway and whenever i'm stressed is a good time, if i can't keep my cool over little things how do i expect to get through the strenuous act of birthing my baby with a cool head, right? right...yikes.

as vain as it is i always feel more inclined to be cheerful when i feel like i don't look like a dump. today was not a dump day, my belly looks cute and therefore had to be photographed and documented. you get how this works by now. blogging is sometimes my version of being a wicked stepmother and chanting "mirror, mirror on the wall" to get positive, encouraging responses. and i try not to be too ashamed of it... anyways, lookit my cute baby bump everyone!! there's a baby in there!

28 weeks- ramblings, and no pictures

yesterday was my first day in the third trimester. my baby has eyelashes, weighs about two and a quarter pounds, and is around fourteen inches long. and i love her like crazy.

i'm having so much fun with fetal kick counts, way more than i thought i would. she loves showing off her moves and even when she's sleepy she can get ten kicks out in minutes. how much she moves now is both weird and exciting. the hours i spend at work are her most active hours and at any given moment i can look down at my expanding belly and see physical parts of her, parts of her little BODY, bumping out rapidly, like boiling water. yesterday there were times when it felt/looked like her whole body was trying to make an appearance. i'm afraid she's just gunna bust on out of there if she keeps up like this, and in the meantime it looks like i'm a pod-host for a wriggly little alien. but she's not an alien. she's a precious little girl. i keep talking up how sweet she'll be and craig knows how much of a fireball she's going to be. he is DEFINITELY her favorite, she goes crazy when he talks to her, and i love it.

i love this man and how sweet of a daddy he is. at least three times a day he'll say how soon she's going to get here and how excited he is. he's fallen asleep with his hand on my belly while she kicks away at him. he's put his face down to talk to her while she's not moving and she'll instantly kick him in the mouth. he's put his hand on her little head while its poking out and felt her move it around. he's seen her little limbs strike out all crazy across my tummy and we talk about how strange and amazing it is. after she does something funny i always ask him if he likes her, and he always says he LOVES her. he's so much better at this than i am, he is so prepared to do this, and i so enjoy watching it happen.

i have been keeping up with weekly belly pictures for the most part, i just don't feel like sharing them. i still feel really, really great, i just don't feel like i look really great. not at all and it kinda embarrasses me. so i've been hiding. i feel energetic, comfortable, well fed [ha ha] and i'm enjoying my sleep, exercise, and preparations for birth. but i look like a train wreck. some days i don't put much effort into NOT looking like said train wreck, but some days i do, and then i get frustrated about still looking like a train wreck. i feel like i'm stuck in a weird in between phase where i'm obviously pregnant but i can't just roll with it yet. form fitting clothes make me look giant and tubby and feel claustrophobic. loose clothes makes me look frumpy and feel really weighed down. craig tells me i'm pretty and makes me feel better. and i stay away from the camera.

i'm so happy about this baby girl. but i'm not happy about much else lately. i'm having a hard time with things and life and it's throwing me off considerably. our living situation after two years of no trouble has suddenly become extremely stressful and difficult. financially we keep punching in the numbers for after babykay gets here and we just have to smile and say it'll be okay even though the math says otherwise. for almost a week now our apartment has been in complete tumult due to construction happening on/in our building. everything is a complete mess and it doesn't feel like any progress is being made. i wake up hours before i'm supposed to every day to the sound of hammers right on the other side of the wall from my head. i try so hard all day not to complain and then i do way too much. i feel like i can't do anything in my own house and i just want to be cleaning and organizing and nesting and setting up my new baby swing. i can't and i don't know when i can and i've been letting myself be very grumpy and hormonal about it all.

work is slow and stressful and i can't wait to be done for a while but that income at the moment seems so vital. i feel like i get in fights with our insurance all the times, bills i don't understand or secret fees they lied about, and i never seem to come out the victor. i'm becoming frustrated with what i think i want for my birthing experience and feeling like i sound insane whenever i talk about it, even to my baby doctor. i'm becoming frustrated with our work schedule and how it affects our social situation and keeps us from fellowshipping or going to church activities like we'd like to. it's almost the best part of the whole year and my favorite holiday season and i wish i was crafty and on top of things, better at making/giving gifts, a better wife, a better home maker, a better primary teacher, a better visiting teacher and a lot less lazy than i have been. i want to get out of this rut so i can enjoy this wonderful feeling of being an almost mother, preparing for my baby and working on making a home.

through all this craig has just been the best, and i'm sure that doesn't surprise any of our family members one bit. i'm obviously the big ball of crazy hormones in this marriage and he's the kind, loving glue that keeps us together. he's so patient and so optimistic. he makes sure i get the rest i need and tries to find ways to cheer me up. if i'm craving anything at all [i'm usually not, but sometimes i do, like chicken the other night] he says it's because me or babykay must need it for something and he makes sure i have it right away. he does fun things with me, like beat gears of war 3 and ratchet and clank 4 on co-op together until our brains start melting, or take me to the midnight release of Skyrim with him, or watch the last season of the office available on netflix while eating ridiculous amounts of halloween candy with me and gaining ridiculous amounts of pregnant weight.

this week we started a strict and wonderful schedule of reading the scriptures every night and every morning, to ourselves at night wherever we currently are followed by sharing and discussion and to each other in the morning, starting with genesis and working all the way through. we've never done this before, it's been so long since i've been consistent with my scripture reading and i feel like this is really going to help us stay positive and focused on what matters. i'm glad we're reading scriptures out loud and i hope starting this habit now will help us keep a family scripture time schedule after babykay gets here. i try every day to remember i have SO SO SO SO much to be grateful for right now, even though we don't know what we're doing or how things are going to turn out, we still have somewhere to sleep, food to eat, things to make us happy, and a wonderful, young marriage. oh, and a little, lovely, busy baby thing. she is just the best, best thing right now.

even though the "future" seems mysterious and crazy, and i'm talking in three months, tomorrow, and in a couple hours even, i know what i'm doing right now. for right this minute i'm working on laundry, waiting to switch loads and trying to figure out how to avoid folding. i'm planning on eating a gingerbread poptart and drinking something warm and delicious. i'm sitting next to my husband while he plays skyrim and tells me he loves me every five minutes. i'm listening to construction workers outside tearing our walls down and laughing. i'm waiting for them to come in and take all our windows down and replace them with plastic. i'm feeling my busy baby girl push against my lower left pelvis and my right ribs at the same time. i'm a little cold, a little frumpy, a little grumpy, completely in love with these two people in my little family, and i think i'm going to be just fine.

cute belly pictures soon. i want to have these times on record to look back on, even if i'm not super enjoying them at the moment, they're important times for us.

anniversary balloons

i finally took these down and let them go. they were the balloons that came with my anniversary present in august. on october 14th, two months later, they were still floating as high as they were when they were new. have you ever heard of balloons lasting for TWO MONTHS? these pictures were taken right after that. a few days later they started to float their lazy way down. they just started laying there sadly, a little oomph still left in them but not much. they've been part of the inner decor for so long now it's weird in here without them. how amazing is it that they lasted as long as they did though! they made me smile all the time.