Saturday, March 17, 2012

1 month

i know everyone warns you how fast it goes by but seriously, it goes by SO. FAST.

having kahree is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. i'm happier and more fulfilled than i've ever been, even on days where we spent most of it sleeping, just having her there to cuddle with is the most incredible blessing. craig and i feel like we have a real family and like our lives are serious now, it's the real deal! we're parents! everything we do now, like making dinner or watching movies or just existing together and watch movies, has this new meaning now because we're doing all of it with her.

she's such a good, mild baby. it takes a lot of warming up before she really cries. long trips in the car are not her favorite thing, she ends up crying by the time we're almost home nearly without fail, which is frustrating because there's nothing i can do about it at that point. most of the time i'm getting pretty good at figuring out what she needs and predicting how she's going to feel next. she's smiles and giggles and babbles all the time now. she's an AMAZING sleeper. she goes to bed when we do and sleeps all night, and then some. i really have no idea how many times she eats a day but it seems to be enough to keep her nice and plump. those wrists are getting super chunky and i love it so. i also love sleeping with her, it took a bit of faith in my mothering instincts to bring her into bed with me that first night or two, but it's so clear that it works best for us for now. the nights we've tried to move her to her bassinet have turned into the worst nights for sleeping. and how could i ever be upset about the fact that my baby sleeps best curled up against my tummy? that's just too sweet to mess with. i have no idea how long we'll do that but for now whenever she curls up against my stomach i feel like she never left.

nursing has been going so well. it's seriously a dream compared to all the horrors i was bracing myself for. my whole approach to nursing [and a lot of baby care techniques really] has been less is more, as in the less complicated i make it hopefully the better it would go. so in that spirit we haven't used bottles or pacifiers at all so far, just to help limit the number of things we need to worry about right now. i just feed her every time she tells me she's hungry, sucking on her hands or fussing a certain way. i can usually tell when a cry is a hungry cry [not always, babies can be super mysterious when they want to be] and there are certain sounds she makes when she's sleeping that wake me up and that i know mean she's hungry.

it makes me sad when people [mostly strangers] only bring up all the negative things about having a newborn. babies are wonderful, they are the best thing, they're what life is all about, bringing more precious spirits to the world and teaching them how to get back to Heavenly Father. all i ever want to do my whole life is take care of my children. and i'm typing that out while covered in quite a large amount of dried spit up from a baby who has been pretty fussy today, so hopefully you can tell i mean it. and she's still the ABSOLUTE BEST and most well behaved angel. every mother should be allowed to be enamored with their new little darlings as much as they possibly can be.

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